Courts of law have cleverly disguised their mission to ‘produce revenue for the state’ by paying lip service to important issues like the ‘deadbeat dad law’ and shared parental responsibility laws. The system right now is based on ‘idealism’ but as we all know, idealism is never going to work. Human nature will never allow ‘idealism’ to become a reality. So let’s grow up, and start getting practical.
The courts profit every time parents go filing new motions. It’s in their best interest to actually make and enforce laws as unfairly as possible to continue to create and produce their streams of revenue. What is not in their best interest is to guide you on how to co-parent, but regardless of their business model, your kids well being is not, and should never be, on the chopping block for the sake of some bureaucrats job.
Now this is where this is going to get hard for some people, but it’s time to grow up. If you keep looking to this ‘system’ that has screwed you for it’s own personal gain once, why would you keep going back to it to fight your battle? Moreover, why are you fighting a battle at all? You don’t need to fight a battle and you don’t need the big bad judge to ‘admonish’ Mom or Dad for not being what YOU think is, the ideal parent. Furthermore, you certainly do not need to be trying to prove a parent unfit to get custody, remove child support, or reduce it.
What you should be doing is working TOGETHER to be sure that between the two of you, with a little extra effort, you both are giving the kids the same life and lifestyle you could give them if you were still together. It might mean either or both of you working a second job, it might mean one of you or the other giving up manicures or golf. Regardless, divorcing is not a reason to take away from your kids, and shared custody should not be a means to give them less of a life than a two income home would give them.
Grow up. Don’t look to the courts to make either of you participate in this. There’s no profit in that for them. It’s hard to prosecute the deadbeat dad law because there is no profit in it for the state. Get with a counselor to learn how to get along and get with a financial advisor or even a business advisor who can help you start a part time business to cover the income that was lost to either of you in the divorce. Keep it out of the courts, and everyone will be happier, especially the kids. Just grow up.